Monday, December 21, 2015

Goals for 2016



HAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Yup and I'm one of them!!

First of all 3 blogs in one morning, HA! Give a girl a new laptop and she is all sorts of blog crazy!

Since 2016 is coming up pretty quickly thought I should put my goals out there.

2016 GOALS!

1. Get back to healthy.
2. Run 500 miles.
3. Read more.
4. Save more.
5. Blog more.

Until next time!

2015 Year End Review!

Wow! Can't believe there are only days left in this year. It's head to believe another year has come and gone.

This year was a rather challenging one, mentally.
From Grandma passing in January to a failed direct sales business to going back to a "real" job to some weight gain. It sure has been a trippy year. Nothing compared to 2005, but nonetheless this yaer had it's struggles. But I overcame and will overcome them.

Dealing with grandma's passing and training for two half marathons, was extremely tough. I didn't perform like I wanted and naturally I was hard on myself. But everyone put it into prospective, I've completed 3 half marathons...I could NEVER do that before. Sure the time wasn't the best but you finished and sometimes that's enough. So I learned to deal with this letdowns.

The Jamberry business, yeah I should've known that wasn't going to be a good one. After many other attempts and those types of businesses. I just doing have the mindset for those and I'm okay with that. Not everyone has those salesmen skills, just like everyone doesn't have the awesome skills...like I have. :)

A fairly big obstacle to overcome this year was going back a getting a "real" job. Yes working a different schedule from Brent has been rather challenging, see how we've working together for most of out relationship. But it was time for me to go back. We want to save for a house, pay somethings off, and get some decent insurance. The big reason was for insurance. Yeah it's been an interesting transition but we're adjusting and really enjoying our marriage and relationship even more...not sure how that is even possible but we are.

Not sure if Grandma passing was the toughest thing or dealing with my 40 pounds weight gain...
Yup forty pounds. 4-0 pounds. That is really tough to type out. I think for most of the year I was in denial about how much it really was but to type it out and really think about it and face. Really really really REALLY makes it real. I'm realizing that the further out from surgery I get, the harder things really become. I thought the surgery and the retraining my mind was tough. HA! Boy was I extremely naïve.
Case and point, my vitamins. I was a stickler for taking my vitamins for the longest time. Then, as of recently, I was like whatever. And it has become very irregular when I take them. Today, 12/21/15, has been the first day I've taken all my morning vitamins. I'm working on fixing that because well I need those since Frankentummy is a special tummy now.
And those healthy habits I worked hard to learn are slowly fading into the background and the old unhealthy habits have gradually snuck in. True story, sometimes I have cookieS for lunch. Yes...with an "S" and for a meal. Frankentummy is still small and can only hold so much. BUT there are somethings I eat that just breakdown into nothing, chips, ice cream...etc, and I can eat more of those. But if I eat a nice tuna salad with a beautiful bed of greens, olives, cheese, and an egg. I am filled after several bites. And that's how it should be.
The reason I am telling you all this is because I want people to realize weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out. The further you get out the harder it is to resist the yummy things, like holiday treats or alcohol. You get back to life and out of that little weight loss surgery bubble you're in. Things happen, life happens, death happens, new job happens. So you have to adapt to all these things because all these things don't care if you had surgery or not. But as I ALWAYS say and say until the day I die, having the surgery was one of the best decisions I have EVER made. I've accomplished things I NEVER thought I could do. Became an even more amazing human. I wouldn't change anything about this adventure.

But before you start feeling all sorry for me, please don't, 2015 had some incredible moments. Brent and I celebrated 4 amazing years of this awesome thing called marriage!!! Woot #teamjohnston
I bought my first brand spanking new car. She is a beauty!! She is a white 2015 Toyota Camry. She is amazing and I named her Betty White. :) I went back into the work force, yeah it stinks but it's been a good thing. I'm still trying to get use to "normal" people hours! lol

Sure this year has been rocky at points, it's still been an incredible year. But let's hope 2016 won't be a repeat! ;)

So on that note I leave you and until next time! :)

And the worst blogging award goes to...

Wowzers!
Just checked to see the last time I blogging! It was back in May.

And the winner for the worst blogger goes to Lydia Johnston!! Woot woot!! Yes!!
Thank you! I like to thank all the little people who stuck by me and my lack of blogging. And to those who haven't, I don't blame you! lol

So we're in December already. When did that happen? Where did the summer and fall go? Oh what! It's still summer here in the South...

Last update was about running and finishing races. YAY!
This update isn't.
It's about mental health crap.
I realized a few weeks ago, that I've gone rouge.
I've gone rouge with my eating, my running, and support.
I attempted other diets. If It Fits Your Marcos and Paleo type things. But nothing would stick or it would but only for a short time. Then it dawned on me, after listening to a podcast, about what the issue is. And I quote, "Building a perfect plate doesn't equal health everyday. Certainly a foundation. You can be a miserable person, eating healthy food, and still be really unhealthy." Balanced Bites Podcast
Why? Because of mental health! The brain is a scary place and likes to play tricks on you.
It doesn't matter what type of healthy foods I eat, if my brain isn't on board then it's pointless. I'm my own worst enemy. The food isn't jumping in my mouth. I don't rock a robo-arm stuffing my face. My face is doing the game, "it's just one bite." well that one bite sends me down a rabbit hole. or my brain goes "you'll start tomorrow, so indulge." well interesting enough tomorrow never comes...

So that's where I'm at in my "healthy" lifestyle.
Or my brain will do "you can run it off tomorrow." Again tomorrow never comes...
Sooo just FYI! Tomorrow never comes...

I started the month at 226!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was it a year ago I was bitching about being 190something, and now I would KILL to be back there?

Well I went a took action because we all know I'm a piss or get off the pot kind of gal. I called Nina/Amanda and pretty much was like I need help. I've gone off the deep end. I've gone rouge. I'm out of control.
We set up an appointment. I went a saw them. Pretty much my battle is mental health. Amanda was like you know what to do but your mind needs to be back on board. It happens more often then you know. But overall you've still lost 150something pounds. You haven't failed at anything. So we're going to set you up with the behavioral medicine team and get your mind back in line. I was like okay, thank you! Drying up my tears and with a new mindset.

Well that new mindset went out the door as soon as I walked out the day of the hospital. Not enitrely sure why.
But alas I live to fight the goof fight. One I set myself on 3 years ago. One I will never give up. One I will get fighting. One I'm bound and determined to continue on.

Until next time!