Monday, December 21, 2015

And the worst blogging award goes to...

Just checked to see the last time I blogging! It was back in May.

And the winner for the worst blogger goes to Lydia Johnston!! Woot woot!! Yes!!
Thank you! I like to thank all the little people who stuck by me and my lack of blogging. And to those who haven't, I don't blame you! lol

So we're in December already. When did that happen? Where did the summer and fall go? Oh what! It's still summer here in the South...

Last update was about running and finishing races. YAY!
This update isn't.
It's about mental health crap.
I realized a few weeks ago, that I've gone rouge.
I've gone rouge with my eating, my running, and support.
I attempted other diets. If It Fits Your Marcos and Paleo type things. But nothing would stick or it would but only for a short time. Then it dawned on me, after listening to a podcast, about what the issue is. And I quote, "Building a perfect plate doesn't equal health everyday. Certainly a foundation. You can be a miserable person, eating healthy food, and still be really unhealthy." Balanced Bites Podcast
Why? Because of mental health! The brain is a scary place and likes to play tricks on you.
It doesn't matter what type of healthy foods I eat, if my brain isn't on board then it's pointless. I'm my own worst enemy. The food isn't jumping in my mouth. I don't rock a robo-arm stuffing my face. My face is doing the game, "it's just one bite." well that one bite sends me down a rabbit hole. or my brain goes "you'll start tomorrow, so indulge." well interesting enough tomorrow never comes...

So that's where I'm at in my "healthy" lifestyle.
Or my brain will do "you can run it off tomorrow." Again tomorrow never comes...
Sooo just FYI! Tomorrow never comes...

I started the month at 226!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was it a year ago I was bitching about being 190something, and now I would KILL to be back there?

Well I went a took action because we all know I'm a piss or get off the pot kind of gal. I called Nina/Amanda and pretty much was like I need help. I've gone off the deep end. I've gone rouge. I'm out of control.
We set up an appointment. I went a saw them. Pretty much my battle is mental health. Amanda was like you know what to do but your mind needs to be back on board. It happens more often then you know. But overall you've still lost 150something pounds. You haven't failed at anything. So we're going to set you up with the behavioral medicine team and get your mind back in line. I was like okay, thank you! Drying up my tears and with a new mindset.

Well that new mindset went out the door as soon as I walked out the day of the hospital. Not enitrely sure why.
But alas I live to fight the goof fight. One I set myself on 3 years ago. One I will never give up. One I will get fighting. One I'm bound and determined to continue on.

Until next time!

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