Thursday, August 15, 2013

Au Revoir, Arrivederci, and Adios

Dear Lane Bryant,
Don't make this harder than it needs to be. You have clothed me for many, many, many years. And honestly this is harder than I thought it would be. Since you made me feel super sexy and fashionable, at my highest!! Which I really liked because well I felt like I was a fashionable gal! You've taken care of all my clothing needs, even at my highest by telling me I was a "26/28", which we both know I really was a 30.
But as you know I've gone through a major life change this past year. I've lost an incredible amount of weight and seeing how you're a "plus size" clothing store and I'm no longer "plus size" anymore...I think it's time we end this beautiful relationship with class and style. I'm to small for the clothes you offer. Although you a still quite fashionable and will always hold a special place in my's time.
Don't worry I'll still walk by and wave but I can no longer justify spending a bajillion dollars on clothes when I can get a bajillion clothes for the price of ONE thing from your store. I'm not mad with you by any means, you've taken care of me and that's all a girl wants.
But I'll being shopping at your sister company, New York and Co, Target, Belk's, and hell Goodwill.
And don't take offense to this but I don't want our paths to ever cross again.
So go on and spread you sexiness, fashionableness, and sweetness on someone who can benefit from it.
I heart you and always will!


  1. Good for you! It was an exciting day when I realized that I was no longer plus sized. Check out LOFT and The Limited too. I love their stuff.

  2. Great! Thanks for the tip! I'll have to check them out for sure!! :)

  3. Hilarious post!! I hope you sent this note in Comic Sans. xoxo