Monday, July 8, 2013

Relationship or RelationSHIT

Since I'm revamping my blog, I've decided to do a matching Facebook "like" page.

If you haven't liked it, for shame! Here's the address to "like" it: The Best Facebook Page...EVER!

I asked my readers what they would be interested in reading. Because that's what gets y'all to come back and basically I don't know if y'all like reading the randomness I type or if y'all actually what something with substance. Lol So here goes. I'll write one of them now and then the other one later this week.

Relationship: as defined by Webster. 1.) the state of being related or interrelated. 2.) the relation connecting or binding in a relationship; as a kinship. 3.) a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealing; a romantic or passionate attachment.

When one of my readers asked me to talk about how my relationship with food has changed, I thought of this eCard.

Because well I do love food. I always have and I always will...I think. But food didn't feel the same way about me. I think in some aspect I was slowly killing myself with food. I would eat the double patty Baconator from Wendy's large with a soda of some sort, large fries, spicy chicken nuggets, and a frosty. And I would eat that all in one sitting. Or I would go to a Hibachi place and eat ALL the plate of food they serve you, the salad, the soup, and sushi. Again in one sitting. I would order Chinese and I eat a large wonton soup,  a large sweet and sour chicken, and crab Rangoon. All in one sitting.
See I love food but it was a one sided relationship most of my life. Until I finally had enough and decided that I wasn't going to stand for that anymore and take my life and health back. So, of course we all know I had surgery on 9/12/12 and have been taking my life back one pound at a time.

Almost 10 months later food hasn't changed but I have. I look at food now as a way to fuel my a car. I *try* not to eat what I "feel" like my body wants. I try to eat more what it needs to keep my going through the day. Which is protein, veggies, fruits, vitamins, and water. Basically I try to listen to my stomach more than my brain...because my brain still tells me it wants a double patty Baconator but I know and my stomach knows that I would be in my coma sleep and hating myself.
I still have those cravings but I try not to cave into them or I find a healthier substitute. And as I've said before they did surgery on my stomach not my brain. And I say try because I am human and I do have those cravings and sometimes I do cave into them. But this is a whole learning process. I'm retraining myself on how to eat. And Frankentummy is my tool I chose to help and he has been great...but he also has been a pain in the ass but he's mine and I wouldn't trade this process for anything.

And I've eaten Chinese since surgery but can only eat 3-5 PIECES (depending on the size of the chicken pieces) of a small sweet and sour chicken. No rice or other extras. But on the rare occasion we do have Chinese I usually get the chicken and veggies, with the sauce on the side and barely make a dent in that. I've also eaten Hibachi since surgery and maybe have a half cup of mostly meat and veggies but I've tried a full fork of rice. Now my portions have changed but I don't eat like this everyday, all week long anymore. The last time I had Chinese was Friday but before that was several months ago. And I had hibachi last night but before then the last time I had it was December maybe. Where as before both of those meals and the fast food were an all week thing. Now I rarely eat them because I don't like how they make me feel.

As mentioned before the hardest part of this process for me in the mental part. How quickly everything has changed for the blink of an eye. I went from almost 400 lbs to on the brink of under 200 lbs in the span of 10 far. So while Frankentummy and my body are on one page my brain is on another and that takes time to work out. I still struggle with seeing myself at 377 lbs. I still struggle with food. But both of those things are becoming easier and easier as each day passes. Because I, my brain, and Frankentummy all know we won't be any where near 377 lbs again. Come hell or high water I refuse. So if that means not eating sweets, carbs or whatever than so be it. 

I chose to change how I view my relationship with food and you can too! And you don't have to go through surgery to do that. Just take it one meal at a time. And you can and will successful.

Recap: I've changed my view on food as something I need fuel my body and keep me going. I don't think food and I will have a "healthy" (see what I did there...BAAHAHAHA!!!) relationship but we have a relationship that benefits me now! ;)


1 comment:

  1. This is such a great topic! I think a lot of people, no matter if they have a lot of weight to lose or none at all could benefit from changing their relationship with food. I know I'm still struggling with it. I like that you said you're focusing on giving your body what it needs versus what it thinks it wants. That's such a great outlook! Keep up the amazing work. =)