Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Am I Crazy?

HAHAHAHA! Well that's depending on who you ask! :) But we'll see what the psychologist has to say on Tuesday June 19, 2012.

Yeah that's right, as in NEXT FRICKIN TUESDAY! "Hey Lydia isn't your surgeon meet and greet on Thursday?" Why yes...yes it is! So I have both of my final appointments before my stuff gets sent up for approval to the insurance in the same week. This process is coming together FAST. I think faster than I put the weight on! LOL! So I could possibly have my surgery sooner than I thought. SWEET! And not so sweet.

You see I do want this to happen but I don't want it to go TO fast where I freak the eff out. And scare the baJesus out of myself. You know for those who are new to the "Lydia Show", I'm a very much "Type A" personality.

According to Wikipedia (a legit sight...I know) "The theory describes a Type A individual as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status conscious, can be sensitive, care for other people, are truthful, impatient, always try to help others, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence."

Yeah than add in my ADD and its a lovely combo! :) Contraction I know..call me a Starburst! :oP

Anyways I like a plan. I like to know how I'm going to get to Point "A" to Point "E". I don't necessarily have to follow the plan I start with but I do HAVE  to know what's going on and what I'm getting into..and all the dirty and gritty details. As Brent called it tonight "to much information". I like to call it well informed. Tomato...TomAto.

But I freaked myself out tonight thinking about how much my life is going to change. As I told Brent, being overweight is all I know/remember. I can remember being a size woman's 14 in MIDDLE SCHOOL and it clearly increased over the years. So let's do the math for roughly more than half my life...from what I can remember...I've been overweight. So when all this weight is gone...it's going to be me and my sassy self. Nothing to hide behind or shield me from the world. I'll be "exposed". That's scares the ever loving God out of me. Let me express that one more time...THAT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not backing out...I'm not changing my mind...I'm just a little scared of the unknown. But who isn't right? I know this is going to be the best thing for me. It's going to change my life in soooooo many ways. I'm actually going to be a healthy "normal" person. I'm going to be able to prevent the onslaught of obesity related diseases. I'm going to be able to create spawns of me and Brent. I'm going to be able to go upstairs and wipe my ass without getting winded. I'm going to able to shop at normal 20something/30something stores...aka Walmart! ;) And most of all I get to live a long and health life with the man, that is my BFF and the love of my life. And drive him crazy like any good wife would do!

So when those pros are stacked against my one mental block. Things don't look half bad! On to see the crazy doctor!

Autobots roll out.

LJ

2 comments:

  1. If it went too slow, you'd probably freak out about that too. And don't call yourself crazy! :-)

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  2. From one Type A personality to another - I have to agree with Kelly. You would freak out if it were going too slow because I know that's how I would be too. Good luck to you - the unknown is a little scary but I have no doubt you will be fine. I agree, don't call yourself crazy!

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