(Turn and face the strain)
Don't want to be a richer man
(Turn and face the strain)
Just gonna have to be a different man..." - David Bowie
How can you not love David Bowie. Yeah he's what the world views as weird but he's just being himself...so how can you hate on a man for that? How can you hate anyone for that? But that's a different blog all together. ;) But it has meaning to me. I don't know if it was watching "Glee" last night, my mom's doctor's appointment, Weight Watchers being tweaked, the season changing, or the gain I had but I honestly feel like I'm ready for a HUGE change. A challenge.
I feel as if I'm more kick ass, if that's anymore possible.
To catch y'all up on that past month, I've realized all I've done is work...work...see family...work...puppets....work...gain weight....see friends...work...work...work...work. Yeah I understand we have responsibilities, bills to pay...etc. I get that but at what point is it TO much. I don't know...when you feel as if your health and yourself are way on the back burner. I feel as if work has been so much of my main focus. Unfortunately with that my weight creeped back up, my health I feel is out of wack...nothing major but trying to prevent things and the way I'm going with putting work and everything else first I'm going to send myself to an early grave. Let's be honest who knows how many years I've already lost at this point with my weight. So I'll be damned if I'm going to have other means put me to an early grave. My pants and shirts are all tight and gross feeling. I mean I rock anything but when I feel like a cased sausage...ummm no time to change. Hell why do you think I wear sweats so much. BECAUSE SWEATS LIE TO ME!!!! LOL! I've been lying to myself for far to long. I feel like I'm ready to kick some ass! I'm uber-motivated to change...see how David Bowie ties in! It all comes together! :) lol
So with me, making myself #1. I've also realized that with this power surge of awesomeness. I am not being a doormat to anyone...myself included. I'm back to the Lydia, pre-weight watchers 2007. I loved myself with curves and all then. So I back then focus on losing weight for the inside, taking pressure off my heart and other organs, preventing diabetes. Because I'll be damned if I'm getting that disease. Screw that! And of course the outside did its thing. I'm back to that point right now. I'm losing weight for my inside health and the rest will follow suit!
I know this sounds all to familiar but its not. But this Lydia 2011/2012 with the flair and the diva-ness of 2007 added to it. I've grown-up but I'm not taking crap anywhere.
Because since moving down here I've had a bumpy road as y'all know but I'm refusing to let it control my future, my self worth, or my loved ones. Let's be honest, I didn't love myself for a long time. It's only been recently that the love for myself has really been there. I mean the actually love...when wake up and feel like man I'm hot and awesome! Shocker I know...I'm sure you guys we're like "Lydia you seemed fine to us." Yeah because I'm a FABULOUS actor!!! :) I should seriously has Oscars! I'm fake until you make it kind of gal! And well I've made and I'm not going back. Because I feel the love for myself inside of me and that ain't going no where!! I've felt like I've been starting please people again at the expense of myself. Yeah NO! I've worked to hard and overcame to much to go back to that meek and weak feeling girl. NO! I'm a woman now with my agenda back in check!
Don't feel sorry for me, this is not a pity blog. This is a I'm fired up and I'm taking whats mine back. :)
Here are my goals for the end of the year:
15 pounds gone by 12/31/2011, which will put me back at my lowest for this year.
36 pounds gone by Valentines 2012. Which is a personal and milestone for myself. And that will put my total weight loss at the point 59 pounds.
41 pounds gone by 6/11/12, which factors in the gains and plateaus.
Also we have joined a 24 hour gym, so no excuses for exercising.
We have enough healthy foods in this house. It should be a bit earlier to eat better. And we are not eating out...useless we just can't help it...not because we're lazy! So BOOOO-YAH!! On that note I'm chucking the deuces and cleaning the house!! :)